Two Birds Uncertain About Heisenberg


One day God came into His living room, which is the universe, and exclaimed: "My Self! This place is a Mass!!" He instructed Gravity to clean up after itself, or it would be grounded for eternity.
So, for the last 15 000 000 000 years Gravity has earnestly tried to make the universe into a vacuum and pile everything neatly into one place. This turns out to be a full-time job. That's why Gravity can never take a vacation, grab a beer, and watch black guys fight viciously over an inflated bladder.

I could tell you why Gravity can't finish the job, but you won't believe me.
Oh heck, I'll tell you anyway. It's the Uncertainty Principle. (Which I now have to explain to you.) It goes like this:
Once we know exactly where the toys are, they could re-appear, magically, under your bed, in the Empire State Building, or anywhere on the front lawn.

For all who have eyes to see:
These two birds illustrate the simple truth, that two things that are equal and opposite add up to nothing.
Well, not really nothing.
There is the illusion of duality.


I've seen that look before…

bluejay-looking-back 2

It's not the first time that I've threatened to turn my back to the world, if this world doesn't shape up! What the hell was God thinking, when He went on a creative rampage? If the earth is any example of His production standards, I'm not going to heaven. Don't look at me, as if I had anything to do with this; I'm only trying to make a living. If that's arrogant, then look at your own laundry!
And in case anything is missing, I want to state for the record: I didn't take it!

Where have I seen this look before? In the mirror?